tak tau la dlm 2 ari ni...aku asyik bad mood jer....asal haaa???!!!aku ingat bulan julai bulan aku bergembira...tapi macam2 masalah yg kene aku lalui,kene aku pikir sampai air mata aku da tak larat nak tahan lg dgn benda ni semua.....masalah degree...masalah keje...masalah duit...masalah family.....bnyk gila masalah skg ni....smpai satu tahap aku da tak ley tahan....bila aku update status kat fb,ziq komen "just cry. cry out loud. better that way" terus air mata yg selama ni terkandung bnyk masalah da mnjd berat n terus mendung n mncurah curah jatuh kat pipi...aku mcm da tak tahan jer...ya Allah.....kuatkanlah hati hambamu untuk hadapi sume ni.....kadang2 aku rasa down gila bila aku patut tanggung sume masalah ni...tp...aku teringat kata2 ni "Allah akan menguji hamba hamba-Nya mengikut kemampuan seseorang"..jd aku pikir...masalah ni Allah bg sbb Allah tau aku boleh tanggung sume ni...Allah tau kemampuan aku...cuma aku je yg tak yakin pda diri sendiri...
aku keje kat sini...first time kene marah teruk smpai satu tahap air mata aku mmg nak jatu habisss...malam ni la yg membuatkan air mata aku mmg berderai habiss...:'( bila aku pikir balik..adat keje kan..mmg da macam tu..mmg akan kena marah dgn org2 atas...sbb aku tau..dgn kemarahan la yg boleh buat minda aku berfikir ape salah yg aku buat....klw tak kena marah kita tak tau ape salah tu and mungkin kita tak memeperbaikinya kan...
aku tau aku da besar..so aku kena berfikiran matang...itu yg perubahan yg aku nak buat pada diri aku skg...i am already 19 years old...so aku kena buat cara org yg da dewasa yg ada akal fikiran...dalam 4 atau 5 tahun lg aku akan melangkah ke alam pekerjaan..so waktu skg la masanya utk aku terima yg "marah itu mmg adat pekerjaan kalau kita buat silap sebesar zarah pun"...so,skg ni aku da tanak taching2 lg bila ade org marah aku...tp hati aku hanya Allah saje yg tau betapa peritnya kena marah....da la aku jenis yg sensitif..mmg banjir habis la ...
mmg mood aku skg daripada siang td smpai la mlm ni lagu confession of a broken heart !!!! sgt broken heart! :"(
Friday, 22 July 2011
keje...adat la kalau kena marah....
Thursday, 21 July 2011
confession of a broken heart....
And I wait for the good Lord to make me feel better
And I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders
A family in crisis that only grows older
Why’d you have to go?
Why’d you have to go?
Why’d you have to go?
I am broken but I am hoping
Daughter to father, daughter to father
I am crying, a part of me is dying and
These are, these are
The confessions of a broken heart
I dream of another you the one who would never (never)
Leave me alone to pick up the pieces
A daddy to hold me, that’s what I needed
Why’d you have to go?
Why’d you have to go?
I don’t know you, but I still want to
Daughter to father, daughter to father
Tell me the truth, did you ever love me
Cause these are, these are
The confessions of a broken heart
I love you, I, I love you
I don’t know you, but I still want to
Daughter to father, daughter to father
Tell me the truth, did you ever love me
Did you ever love me
These are
The confessions of a broken heart
And I wait for the postman to bring me a letter…
excited !!!
hahahaha...apekah yg excited sgt aku ni haa?!hahaha..actually dpt lesen L pun da excited gila..belum lg dapat lesen P..lagi la excited menggila...hahaha..excited tu skjap je sbnrnye..xlama mana punnn....hahaha...
cerita disebalik lagu lagu...
mood : kenapa setiap apa yg terjadi mesti aku ingat balik...
bila ingat balik saya mula nak menangis...tambah lg bila dengar lagu lagu yang boleh buat saya lebih lg touching2 nak nangis.... :'(
Somewhere far away
I want you back
I want you back
But they don’t understand
You’re all I have
You’re all I have
Light on my room
I sit by myself
In hopes you’re on the other side talking to me too
Oh, am I a fool who sits alone talking to the moon
The talk of the town
They say I’ve gone mad
Yeah, I’ve gone mad
‘Cause when the sun goes down
Someone’s talking back
Yeah, they’re talking back
Light on my room
I sit by myself
In hopes you’re on the other side talking to me too
Oh, am I a fool who sits alone talking to the moon
I’m talking to the moon, still tryin’ to get to you
In hopes you’re on the other side talking to me too
Oh, am I a fool who sits alone talking to the moon
Somewhere far away
Again
And my mother accused me of losing my mind
But I swore I was fine
You paint me a blue sky
And go back and turn it to rain
And I lived in your chess game but you changed the rules everyday
Wondering which version of you I might get on the phone
Tonight
Well I stopped picking up and this song is to let you know why
Dear John, I see it all now that you’re gone
Don’t you think I was too young to be messed with?
The girl in the dress cried the whole way home
I should have known
Well maybe it’s me and my blind optimism to blame
Maybe it’s you and you’re sick need to give love and take it away
And you’ll add my name to your long list of traitors who don’t understand
And I’ll look back and regret how I ignored when they said run as fast as you can
Dear John, I see it all now that you’re gone
Don’t you think I was too young to be messed with?
The girl in the dress cried the whole way home
Dear John, I see it all now, it was wrong
Don’t you think 19′s too young to be played by your dark twisted games
When I loved you so
I should have known
You are an expert at “sorry”
And keeping lines blurry
Never impressed by me acing your tests
All the girls that you’ve run dry have tired, lifeless eyes
Cause you burned them out
But I took your matches before fire could catch me
So don’t look now
I’m shining like fireworks over your sad empty town…
Dear John, I see it all now that you’re gone
Don’t you think I was too young to be messed with?
The girl in the dress cried the whole way home
I see it all now that you’re gone
Don’t you think I was too young to be messed with?
The girl in the dress wrote you a song
You should have known
You should have known
Don’t you think I was too young?
You should have known…
Let it take me where it wants to go
Til you open the door, there’s so much more
I’ve never seen it before
I was trying to fly but I couldn’t find my wings
But you came along and you changed everything
You spin me around
You make me crazier crazier
Feels like I’m falling and I am lost in your eyes
You make me crazier crazier crazier
Every sky was your own kind of blue
And I wanted to know how that would feel
And you made it so real
You showed me something that I couldn’t see
You opened my eyes and you made me believe.
You spin me around
You make me crazier crazier
Feels like I’m falling and I am lost in your eyes
You make me crazier crazier crazier oh
I don’t wanna hide anymore
You spin me around
You make me crazier crazier
Feels like I’m falling and I’m lost in your eyes
You make me crazier crazier crazier crazier crazier
lagu ni pulak seriously...teringat kat someone yg dulunya tak rapat waktu plkn....kat plkn aku anti gila la ngn mamat ni...skali tu bila dia masuk matiks sama ngn aku....mcm mana aku boleh crush kat dia tersangat sangat crush dgn dia dari awal matriks bulan 5 2010 sampai sekarang....tak tau kenapa...tak tau apa yg sgt special dalam diri dia sampai aku blh sgt2 crazier kat dia...birthday aku tahun ni dgn tahun lepas pun dia wish....sgt2 teruja bila dia wish bday aku..mana taknye....org yg kita crush gila2 wish bday kita kann.. :)) dia skg ni kat luar negara further study in medic....wahh..bakal doktor la dia nanti balik Malaysia... :))
It’s the morning of your very first day
You say “Hi” to your friends you ain’t seen in a while
Try and stay out of everybody’s way
It’s your freshman year and you’re gonna be here
For the next four years in this town
Hoping one of those senior boys will wink at you and say
“You know I haven’t seen you around, before”
’cause when you’re fifteen and somebody tells you they love youYou’re gonna believe them
And when you’re fifteen
Feeling like there nothing to figure out
Well count to ten, take it in
This is life before who you’re gonna be
Fifteen
And soon enough you’re best friends
Laughing at the other girls who think they’re so cool
Well be out of here as soon as we can
And then you’re on your very first date and hes got a car
And you’re feeling like flying
And you’re mommas waiting up and you think hes the one
And you’re dancing round your room when the night end
When the night ends
You’re gonna believe them
When you’re fifteen and your first kiss
Makes your head spin round but
In your life you’ll do things greater than dating the boy of the football team
But I didn’t know it at fifteen
Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now
Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday
But I realized some bigger dreams of mine
Who changed his mind and we both cried
You’re gonna believe them
And when you’re fifteen, don’t forget to look before you fall
Ive found that time can heal most anything
And you just might find who you’re supposed to be
I didn’t know who I was supposed to be at fifteen
Take a deep breath girl
Take a deep breath as you walk through those doors
You can be the peanut butter to my jelly
You can be the butterflies I feel in my belly
You can be the captain and I can be your first mate
You can be the chills that I feel on our first date
You can be the hero and I can be your side kick
You can be the tear that I cry if we ever split
You can be the rain from the cloud when it's stormin'
Or you can be the sun when it shines in the mornin'
[B-Sec:]
Don't know if I could ever be
Without you cause boy you complete me
And in time I know that we'll both see
That we're all we need
Cause you're the apple to my pie
You're the straw to my berry
You're the smoke to my high
And you're the one I wanna marry
[Hook:]
Cause your the one for me (for me)
And I'm the one for you (for you)
You take the both of us (of us)
And we're the perfect two
We're the perfect two
We're the perfect two
[Verse 2:]
You can be the prince and I can be your princess
You can be the sweet tooth and I can be the dentist
You can be the shoes and I can be the laces
You can be the heart that I spill on the pages
You can be the vodka and I can be the chaser
You can be the pencil and I can be the paper
You can be as cold as the winter weather
But I don't care as long as we're together
[B-Sec:]
Don't know if I could ever be
Without you cause boy you complete me
And in time I know that we'll both see
That we're all we need
Cause you're the apple to my pie
You're the straw to my berry
lyricsalls.blogspot.com
You're the smoke to my high
And you're the one I wanna marry
[Hook:]
Cause your the one for me (for me)
And I'm the one for you (for you)
You take the both of us (of us)
And we're the perfect two
We're the perfect two
Baby me and you
We're the perfect two
[Bridge:]
You know that I'll never doubt ya
And you know that I think about ya
And you know I can't live without ya
No..
I love the way that you smile
And maybe in just a while
I can see me walk down the aisle
[B-Sec 1/2:]
Cause you're the apple to my pie
You're the straw to my berry
You're the smoke to my high
And you're the one I wanna marry
[Hook:]
Cause your the one for me (for me)
And I'm the one for you (for you)
You take the both of us (of us)
And we're the perfect two
We're the perfect two
We're the perfect two
Baby me and you
We're the perfect two
Monday, 18 July 2011
luahan hati for today..haha
yeayyy ! hari ni mula memandu keta dgn lesen L !!! excited kotttt...hahahaaha...excited , tbe2 jd nervous gila..then mula la buat aksi bahaya sampai hampir nak langgar divider...hahaha..abg sid ni sruh aku relax...aku nak relax mcm mana stiap kali dia puji aku "kan yana da relax tu" jap lg aku da mula menglaba balik...hhahahaha...tatau knapa ngn aku.....huhhhh...letih kaki aku nak kawal clutch...letih tgn memulas stering...aku still lg ta pndai kawal stearing :(....kesana ketepi nak belok pon merapu pegi kemana mana..hahaha..pengalaman belaja keta mmg la mcm ni..da besa nanti okay la tu tade kesana sini lg...esok n rabu blaja lg keta...hopefully okay la drpd hari ni punya lesson...
okay ni cite pg tadi....cite ptg pulak....
aku masuk keje mcm biasa...pkul 2..tu pun lmbt kott..2.30 ptg baru masuk..nak wat mcm mana kelas memandu abis lmbt kul 1 tgh hari kott...urmmm...hopefully aku tak buat lg kesalahn ni..kesian kak ain da kene marah dgn boss sbb aku lewat dtg keje.. :(....
urmmmm......mcm mana nak ckp erhh....aku tak tau la perasaan aku skg ni....tak tauuuu....sedih...gembiraa...mcm ade sikit rindu tp aku tak tau aku rindu kat sape skg ni....sakit kepala...buntu dgn keputusan yg nak dibuat...and macam2 lg laa...bila aku dtg keje...aku harapkan yg si A*** ni muncul...but at the same time abg I**** caring sgt pasal aku smpai ari ni dia belanja aku KFC...agak caring laa..selalu dia tnye aku macam2"yana da makan ke?", "mlm ni yana balik dgn sapa?" mcm2 lg laa......ntah laa..takkan aku da suka kat I...urmmm...tak mungkin.....sbb I ni da ade makwe n aku tak tau sapa...fuhhh....ntah laa...aku malas nak pikir..just ignoring it...btw...klw pasal upu tu....aku macam da mula terima kenyataan yg aku mmg tak dapat utk jd engineer...mgkn kos tu Allah tau kemampuan aku utk bawak kos polimer tu...Allah tau ape yg terbaik utk aku...but at the same time aku try isi borang unikl or 1 lg ipts..kot2 ade ke peluang tu..who knows...urmmmm....k la..pening utk berfikir,penat utk menaip..bg rest jari jemari utk luahan hati yg akan dtg...wakakaka...jiwangnye ayat... :))
Saturday, 16 July 2011
dalam dilema...
dapat uitm kos sains teknologi polimer....polimer...???of cos pasal plastik..n of cos keje kat kilang plastik...ayah kate klw da minat sgt pasal polimer..go ahead..da tu ketentuan..tapi dlm masa yg sama ayah sruh gak ikhtiar cari cos kat ipts pasal chemical engeering...aku tau...ayah terkilan sangat2 sbb anak dia yg sorg ni xdpt cos engineering....aku tak tau laa..skg ni aku tgh cari kos engineering kat unikl,uniten,and u ape2(ipts) yg offer engineering...aku mmg nak sgt jd engineer...ayah tau cita2 ank dia sbb aku da ikut jejak ayah...ayah kate takpe walaupun ipts mahal tp bleh buat pinjaman ptptn..tp bila aku pkir balik..bila dah keje nty mmg duit gaji tu mmg spend utk ptptn je laaa...tak bley la nak wat joli...urmmm..tak tau la...mmg dlm dilema..takpe...skg just try cari ipts dulu..klw mmg tak dapat nak wat camne..da ketentuan yg aku kena study polimer gila2...yg keje nye hanya kat bahagian swasta..keje bagai nak gila,trdedah ngn bahan kimia gaji pun tak tau banyak mana ley dapat...fuhhhh....pening betul memikirkan masa depan yg belum lg terjamin... =.="
Friday, 15 July 2011
memang aku tak sangka akn jadi macam ni...
tepat pukul 12.30 tgh hari aku cek result upu...OMG !!! i get UiTM???i guess UTM....
lepas dari tu air mata aku terus mencurah curah...klw nak dpt uitm pun alang2 pilih la pilihan yg ke 6..kejuruteraan kimia..ni uitm pilih aku kos pilihan aku yg ke 7 ni beb...aku mcm..speechless pun ade...
ntah laaa....aku hampir putus asa sbb tak dpt kejuruteraan kimia satu,yg 1 lg xdpt utm...i berharap sgt2 dapat utm...tak kira la ape jenis kejuruteraan pun aku tetap nak pegi utm...nak buat mcm mane da rezeki aku kat uitm..dkt dgn umah...fuhhhh....mgkin ade hikmah kot disebalik ape yg dah tertulis kat aku....lepas ni mmg tertanam la cita2 aku nak jd chemical engineer.. :'( seies..aku tak tau nak jd ape lpas aku grad nty dgn ijazah teknologi polimer ni..nmpknye aku mmg kene keje kat kilang la lpas ni... :( btw,bila aku terjah tgk..agak best jgak kos ni sbb kos ni full of organic chemistry...lepas ni keje aku menghafal la segala bagai bende kimia organik tu...agak2 still lg ingat tak subjek kimia organik ni?? haha,..yg aku still lg ingt la kan secondary alcohol+KMnO4=ketone...ntah betol ntah tidak..hahahaha...
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Thursday, 14 July 2011
urmmm....tak tau ape nak cakapp...
smlm......mcm mane nak ckp erhhh...
okay...mcm ni...mlm smlm tade sape nak antar aku balik from alam budiman...
bos tanye..aku balik ngn sape,mak ambk ke..so,aku ckp la blh tak sape2 tlg ambk aku balik sbb mak aku penat..jd bos kate nty dia call kak ain tgk mcm mane...aku tgu jgak kot2 kak ain msg aku..tepat kul 10..satu msg pun tade yg brtandang kat nfon aku ni..then aku decide la call mama,ambk jgak aku kat alam budiman ni..sorg2 takot kot kat sini..da la nak masuk lewat malam...then,aku tgk jam tepat kul 10.30 pm..tbe2 ade van parking dpn kedai yg aku keje ni...rupenye awi ngn arep..aku waktu tu da mmg tade mood gile..da la penat...then aku slow talk with awi ngn muka yg mcm pape ntah.."awi ambk yana ke?"..then awi jawab ngn gentle la kan,"ye"..okay..muka aku wktu tu mmg tgh tade mood..awi pun tgk,naseb baek dia paham...tbe2 awi g kat pc..dia tnye aku tade connection internet ke..so,aku jwb tade dari kul 8 td..dia tbe2 rajin gila selongkar satu pc semata-mate nak cari line internet...30 minit dia kat pc..sabo jer laa..nasib baik ade arep bley sembang2..awi sibuk cari line yg aku ngn arep sibuk plak imbau kenangan lama wktu kat SMKPA dulu...cite punye cite then awi kate jom balik..bila tyme nak balik tu..awi lain sgt ngn aku...tbe2 je dia jadi gentle..layan aku pun okay,waktu nak tutup kedai,dia tlg aku tutupkan pintu zink kdai tu...dlm ati aku..dia ni lain dari yg smlm smlm yg aku kenal as awi at the first time...first time aku jumpe awi dari tepi dia mirip ex aku,iqbal..seriously....sebijik gile...walaupun aku da xcontact lg ngn iqbal tp aku tak tau knape dia blh muncul dlm fkiran aku dgn tbe2...okay..forget the past...
kat dlm van...tbe2 jer awi borak2 ngn aku...then tbe2 dia tnye aku,aku da ade pakwe or belum...aku ckp la tade lg..then,awi ckp,klw dia nak ngorat n couple ngn aku blh ke..aku mcmmmm....dlm ati aku tekejut gila tp nasib baik aku dpt cover..aku xbg jwpn pun kat dia..sbb dia kate dlu dia da ade isteri...hello...aku tak tau ni serious ke tak????umor dia 23thn..aku lak 19thn...dan aku taktau lg yg dia tu org mcm mane takan aku nak terima sesuka ati..tanak laaa..aku taknak ape yg trjd 3thn lepas trjd kat aku lg,...aku tanak pisng berbuah 2 kali...
then awi pun bg no fon dia..aku tanak miscall..saje...tbe2 dia mintak no aku plak...aku bg jela sbb dia membe keje aku kan...dia tnye bnyk kali psl tu..aku tanak bg jwpn jgak...then dia kate mlm kta msg...tgu jgak msg dia tp haram jer...hahaha..kan aku da cakap..he's not serious with me....aku tanak hati aku ni sakit lg sbb prmainan cinta oleh lelaki yg xserious ngn aku...
mlm tu,tbe2 jer aku boley mimpi si awi....mimpi yg dia janji mcm2 kat aku yg dia setia ngn aku...ape nie?????
=.=" haiyooo...hari ni plak aku mcm trtunggu tunggu je awi dtg kat alam budiman...sbnrnye perasaan aku nie ape erh??da start suka kat dia ke??suka kat dia sbb muka dia mirip iqbal...ntahhh...no komennn...tp klw aku nak bf pun aku tanak lngsung ade mirip dia,perangai ke ape ke..never....
ckup la dgn ape yg da jd...btw..hari ni aku happy sbb tbe2 je aku jd rapat ngn kak bilah isteri boss..hahaha :))
esok,esok,esok dan esok......penentu segala-galanya !!!
sender : 15888
received : 10:00:22 am
RM0.00 UPU : Semak keputusan ke IPTA (Ijazah Pertama) mulai 12.00 tgh 15/7/2011 di http://upu.mohe.gov.my @ taip UPU RESULT [No KP] dan SMS ke 15888
bila bukak je fon,tgk msg ni.....perghhh....meremang bulu roma aku nak tau result upu...berdebar pun ade...takot pun ada....fikiran melayang layang kat u pun ade....takotttttttt.....tatau la dapat u mane.....hati ni 60% kate UTM...bila pikir2 yg UTM tu jauh gila kat JB....macam2 aku pikir...tiba2 UiTM pulak muncul dlm kepale otak...ntah laaa...risau tu risau la jugak....btw tengok esok mcm mane...harap2 la dapat ape yg aku nak...."chemical engineering"...AMINNN...INSYAALLAH.. :))
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